What follows is an insightful satire on the state of our modern economic system by David Hauge in collaboration with Lorimer Wilson.

Introduction

I am on assignment at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland. Unfortunately, my previous commentaries irked the organizers so profoundly I was not allowed the intimate access usually accorded friendly members of the media. No matter, I am staying at a pleasant bed and breakfast about an hour and half outside of Davos but, dear readers, do not despair at my exclusion from the  inner circle of attendees as, truthfully, I could not afford the $250,000 ticket price to attend.

Everything You Need to Know About Today’s Economics

In order to enhance my ability to offer cogent and relevant economic commentary to you, my dear readers, it occurred to me that it would be a good idea to read an economics textbook to enhance my knowledge of the topics that are central to my remarks. I selected the book, “Everything You Need to Know About Today’s Economics” written by my good friend Gustavo Laframboise-Pierre, the Director of Statistical Creation at the European Central Bank (ECB). 

As an aside, Gustavo’s ascension to his lofty position at the ECB was not so much the result of a diligent work ethic coupled with academic credentials and work experience but, rather, it was the result of a senior member of the ECB management team making an extremely large and incorrect wager on the result of a recent soccer game. The magnitude of the debt was so great that the only way the debt could be settled was by offering Gustavo a lifetime, highly paid sinecure at the ECB.

As I leafed through Gustavo’s weighty tome (well, 48 pages if you include the glossary, foreword, afterword, table of contents, dedication and note from the author) I steeled myself for what lay ahead. I even refused to sweeten my morning  coffee with my usual hit of Jack Daniels to ensure my powers of concentration were at their peak.

Current Economic Theories

As I read through the book I was stunned by the information it provided. Rather than the anticipated discussion of various schools of economic thought such as Keynesian, Austrian, et cetera, Gustavo had chosen to focus on those great economists whose theories were currently being strictly adhered to by governments and central banks around the world. I am of course referring to Charles Ponzi, Bernard Madoff, Kenneth Lay, Victor Lustig (of selling the Eiffel Tower fame) and the most revered of all economists, John Law. John Law, of course was the Scottish economist who almost bankrupted France in 1720 when they adopted his notion of perpetually creating wealth by printing money. 

I immediately picked up my Huawei Smartphone and took advantage of its Android operating system and called Gustavo. (Yes, dear reader, I admit I am trying to boost revenue from my writing by incorporating product placements in my commentary. While Huawei, Android and Jack Daniels have not agreed to pay me yet – or even respond to my emails – I am sure if you all go out and buy their products they will see the benefit of being mentioned in my articles. Thank you in advance for your support and understanding on this delicate matter.) and said astonishingly: “Gustavo, I have read your book and it is as if you believed that our modern economic system is nothing but a fraud perpetrated by brilliant minds whose sole motivation is the preservation of their positions of power and the accumulation of personal wealth. Surely you do not believe that Madoff and Ponzi and other assorted fraudsters are representative of our current economic system?”

Our Modern Economic System Is Nothing But A Fraud

Gustavo’s response was classic: “David, of course I do. Yesterday at the Forum we were enlightened by a video conference call from Bernie Madoff on the topic of sustainability. He very kindly took time from his busy day in prison to help us understand how to keep a fraud going for much longer than one would think is reasonably possible. His key take away was that one should always remember that people desperately want to believe. Leaders around the world are worshiping Mr. Madoff’s ability to keep the illusion of wealth active in the minds of his clients for so many years. How do you think the leadership of the United States is able to wake up in the morning without retching at the thought of their unfunded  liabilities for various entitlement programs? Like a Ponzi scheme, the U.S. dollar and all entitlements will only evaporate when people no longer believe or if some anarchist has the temerity to say that ‘the emperor has no clothes’'.

I told Gustavo that, as I saw it, our global economic system has become a pyramid/Ponzi/shell game and was stunned by his reaction. He responded  pompously,  “David, you seem to be confused. The largest employers in the world are governments, the banking industry and the defense industry and none of those sectors produce growth or value. The purpose of the annual meeting in Davos is to discern and implement new ways to convince the public that giving these sectors perpetual and eternal supply of money is the path to financial salvation." 

Conclusion

I was left to ponder how I was going to include all that I had learned during my conversation with Gustavo into my commentary. Were I to report the true state of our global economic system -

• the money printing,
• the runaway debt,
• the shell game of swapping debt from one pocket to another,
• the egregious spending of treasure on bigger faster more expensive and absurd Weapons of Mass Destruction,
• the looting of government coffers by hugely over-priced dubious, disastrous projects…
• the income inequality,

- I would risk being labeled an anarchist or a Cassandra. Instead, I realized that my attendance at the World Economic Forum had taught me that there is ‘Nothing to see here, move along, nothing to see here’ so just let me just conclude this missive by saying, instead, “All is good!”