A broader understanding of the dynamics of the Russian-Ukrainian conflict, presented in a form of a relationship advice column.
 

Dear Alexis: My roommate and I used to love to get smashed and then do stupid things we'd always regret. He used to beat me too. Some beatings were so legendary they even had names like 'Holodomor;. In the good times, we thought we were hot stuff. People were scared of us. Then, in the late 80s, we hit rock bottom and saw how things really were. It was like an Iron Curtain had lifted. Those were tough times. But I thought we were both getting better. He actually looked like he was doing a lot better than me. It turns out he'd been using steroids and PCP to cover up the effects of liquor. His body was rotting, but he was telling himself that he's at the top of the world. He isn't. He does the stupid and dirty jobs at oil rigs, mines and the occasional farm. Real experts take care of everything complex. Nobody takes him seriously, and he knows it..

I just tried to move out, and he flew into a rage. Another legendary one.  The neighbors are very worried and are trying to help, but he's waving around a bit gun and shouting that 'the Nazi b-itch' has it coming and threatening to kill everybody who tries to help. They've cut off his food, Internet and money - but he doesn't care. He'll have a hell of hangover, but I know him and this is the first time he feels like he's mattered in decades. Im trying to fight back, but he's a lot bigger than me and he's hurting me. Bad. I think he might go to far this time and kill everybody. Did I mention there are no police where we live? What should I do?
                       
- Frightened in the FSU

Alexis Says: No one's going to help you and a man like that isn't going to change. You only have two real choices: Either let him beat you whenever and however he wants, or you poison his vodka. If you want him to give him one last chance to chance to get sober, you can tell him you poisoned the vodka. But I wouldn't recommend it.