I was thinking the other day when was the first time i can remember the urge to "save the world".  Some of you, who have never had that urge, probably don't have the slightest idea of what i am talking about and all i can say is this:  you don't have read further.

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I really do remember, wondering as 7-8 year old paper boy, why the world could not operate in the same way the states of the United States did--just on a broader scale.  At that age, WW II was 10-years in the past, we had a United Nations, etc.  So, my point is: thoughts like that always intrigued me.   

I do remember as a senior at Hanover College with my big bachelor of arts degree in my hand, responding to the always asked question: what do you want to do now?  And responding, "i want to save the world", simply because i had nothing better to say.

That's why i have always found it rather "ironic" that the best option i had along those lines was to "volunteer" and then mysteriously succeed in conquering the responsibilities with a "U.S. fleet ballistic missile submarine".  Not only that, being on one of the first multi-warhead missile launching submarines that the U.S. Government in operation.  Having to give the call, myself, to "man battlestations missile".  That's kind of ironic when you think about it.  Because i hit the alarm and made the call.

I got my M.P.A. degree right after my Navy period and still with the "save the world" attitude (without much advice as to how to do that) i did some early, but good and rewarding time with the Department of Energy.  I was a young bureaucrat there.  I did 4-years, and i could have done another thirty more years just like it, but i knew that i had to make a change.

I had learned my first lesson in Government.  If you want to change the Government, you have to come into it from the "political" side.  The worker bees will always be worker bees for the "political geniuses" who know everything before their worker bees tell them the truth.

Later, i can remember, while sitting on the lawn outside the library at the University of Pennsylania, wondering why i was getting all the experiences that i was getting.  I really had nothing to show for anything.  I was 35-years old, i had my degrees, i was otherwise penniless, and there just happens to be a recession going on when i get out of Wharton.

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Now what i will say next needs to be understood.  I am a very shy and introverted person and it is hard for me to ask someone for help.  My marketing style is "mathematical", not like that you see in commercials.  

Oh well, anyway what has led me to this point is this.  I spent about 16-17 years working in the bilges, the engine room, navigation, and even in the control room at times of the U.S. Government.  

When my greatest success was stolen from me without trying to expand upon what i was doing, was like--enough is enough.  I don't need to try to "save the world" anymore.  I just need to get away from Washington, DC.

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Now as i sit typing to this now--about 25-years after leaving Washington, DC,  I want to tell you something important.

"You cannot save the world before you save yourself".

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ps.  Have you ever wondered where your lost thoughts went?