That was not the point of my text message. Plus, a recap of the week from my time in Florida, a stranger on mushrooms says hello, and a recap of bad karaoke songs.

Dear Fellow Expat:

Greetings from the Essex, Maryland “Skateland,” a roller rink about 25 miles from my house.

Amelia received rollerblades for Christmas and wanted to test them out.

Unfortunately, there’s been a “financial” problem that’s put rain clouds on the day.

This roller rink has an arcade that only accepts quarters.

I’m not carrying any cash.

There isn’t an ATM.

“Can you ask someone who works here if there is an ATM?” she asked.

I did.

“Can you ask someone else?” Fine.

Still no.

She pouts.

There’s also no way to use a credit card.

But don’t worry—she basically proposed money laundering.

She asked if I could buy a $2 soda, pay $7 on a credit card, and get $5 in cash back.

She inspected every machine to double-check if credit cards may magically work.

So, she’s been whining for the last hour.

I texted my wife about the situation… and Amelia’s - how do I call it… persistence…

I explained to my wife what I had just told you and noted that our daughter won’t stop whining because we don’t have any quarters. (Oh, well. That’s life, kid!)

However, my wife skipped over the part about our child and replied with this:

“If it’s cash only, why the hell don’t they have an ATM? That makes no sense.”

I explained that this was not the point of my message.

But she continued:

“I know, it’s not, but that just seems like a bad business model.”

I wanted my wife and I to use this as a lesson that you can’t always get what you want.

But it seems she has been taking business school classes while I’m asleep.

Let’s get to the week in review…

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