Walmart Self-Checkout Machine Wins Employee Of The Month Award Again (Satire)

Via The Babylon Bee

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA—A self-checkout machine at a local Walmart (WMT) store was selected to be honored as the employee of the month for the fifty-second month in a row, sources confirmed Thursday.

The checkout machine was recognized for its speedy service, inability to make mathematical errors, and lack of making small talk with customers.

“Honestly, Checkout Machine #5 is a dream employee,” said store manager Glen Anderson. “#5 never complains, never calls in sick, never makes annoying small talk.”

The machine didn’t make a single error the entire month, yet again, worked full shifts all thirty-one days of the month, and never once took a smoke or lunch break. Customers, especially those with just a few items, reported they had delightful interactions with the employee and were able to get in the store and get out with little hassle thanks to Machine #5.

“It’s the poster boy for how we want our employees to act around here and the kind of attitude everyone should have.”

At publishing time, the kiosk was being considered for a managerial position.

Disclosure: None.

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