The U.S. Federal Reserve likely will not raise interest rates in 2016. Even though Chicago Fed Reserve Bank President Charles Evans said yesterday that the door was open… it has just slammed shut. In the last three days, central banks around the globe have announced significant stimulus efforts to boost struggling economic growth. The latest culprit: the Bank of England.

This morning, the BOE announced major easing measures that it hopes will boost growth. But the central bank is just the latest to test economic theory and hope for a much different result than what we've experienced over the last seven years. With foreign currencies in a race to the bottom, foreign banks are tying the Federal Reserve's hands. According to CME FedWatch – a tool that measures market expectations for future rate hikes – the probability of a rate hike in December now sits at just 34.4%. The index doesn't see the odds above 50% until well into the third quarter of 2017.

While the Bank of England dominated headlines on Thursday, a number of other key stories and profit opportunities likely slipped under the radar.

Before we get to those stories, check out the results for the Dow Jones, S&P 500, and Nasdaq:

Dow Jones: 18,352.19; -2.81; -0.02%

S&P 500: 2,164.26; +0.48; +0.02%

Nasdaq: 5,166.25; +6.51; +0.13%

Now, here's the top stock market news today… and your best ways to profit.

DJIA Today: Markets Await Release of Official July Employment Figure

The Dow Jones, Nasdaq, and S&P 500 were largely flat as investors eye tomorrow's monthly jobs report. The markets remained largely unenthusiastic about another huge central bank plan to slash interest rates and increase monetary stimulus.

The ongoing downward pressure of central banks has to be a burden on Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen. One has to wonder if she will remain the head of the central bank after the 2016 election. Our Global Credit Strategist Shah Gilani said that he would want former FDIC Chair Sheila Bair in charge of the Federal Reserve given her reform goals and credentials. Though he admits this appointment is very unlikely, Shah explains what must be done and the challenges ahead for the next Fed chairperson.

Oil prices pushed higher today, fueled by news of a modest decline in domestic crude and byproduct inventories around the nation. Crude oil prices have declined sharply over the last two months as investors worry about rising U.S. supply. Given that crude oil has floated around $40, it's clear that short sellers are taking profits. 

Now, let's look at the day's biggest stock movers.

Top Stock Market News Today

• Shares of Tesla Motors Inc. (Nasdaq: TSLA) were up 1.2% after falling about 4% this week. The stock has been under pressure due to a combination mixed earnings and its recent deal to buy cash-strapped SolarCity Corp. (Nasdaq: SCTY). Still, this week the firm said it is on track to deliver on its goal of 50,000 vehicles in the second half of 2016. Right now, the Tesla bears are out in full force. But today, we outline why and how TSLA stock represents a remarkable long-term buying opportunity.
• Are we watching the Death of Golf in North America? First, shares of Callaway Golf Inc. (NYSE: ELY) were up 4.4% today. But it has nothing to do with an earnings report or executive change. It turns out that Nike Inc. (NYSE: NKE) will divest its golf equipment business. The firm announced that it will still focus on footwear and apparel, but its clubs and irons will disappear. The reason is simple: Golf continues to decline as a popular American sport. That's evident in Nike's numbers. That division came in last place in 2015, pulling in $706 million.
• Shares of Wal-Mart Stores Inc. (NYSE: WMT) were up more than 0.5% on news the company is in acquisition mode. The firm is reportedly looking to purchase e-commerce shop Jet.com. Would this be a good buy for owners of WMT stock? It doesn't look like it. Jet.com – which is worth roughly $3 billion – is struggling to keep up with rival Amazon.com Inc. (Nasdaq: AMZN). And that's not the only reason. 
• Finally, here is your insight of the day. It's been an unusual two weeks for the S&P 500. Despite all of the geopolitical hype, falling oil prices, and renewed optimism for a rate hike this year, the S&P 500 has stayed in a range of 1%.